I will graduate from Oxford College in two weeks. A few months ago, I would have given anything to say those words. During much of my time at Oxford, I felt like I was caged on a 354-acre campus in rural Georgia, missing out on the boundless resources and excitement Atlanta had to offer. With Oxford’s reputation often reduced to negative editorials and anxious Reddit threads about its lacking social life, I arrived expecting the worst which often shaped my early perceptions of the college.
Yet, now that I am two weeks away from graduating, all I feel is regret and melancholy for all of the wasted Oxford opportunities I refused to engage in. All the shortcomings of my freshman year experience were mostly the product of my own stubbornness, and I failed to appreciate all that Oxford offers its students. I learned too late that at Oxford, you get what you put in.
When I first arrived on campus, I felt trapped. During my first year, I planned as many weekend trips to Atlanta as possible, using any excuse — club meetings, errands or a spare hour — as a reason to leave Oxford. A friend on the Atlanta campus even joked that I spent more time on the campus than he did. But the more time I spent in Atlanta, the less I invested in the place I was actually supposed to call home. Looking back, I now know that feeling trapped had nothing to do with Oxford itself: It came from the community I never allowed myself to build. I didn’t reach out to enough Oxford students or put in the effort to form meaningful connections. I kept interactions superficial and retreated to my dorm instead of engaging with the campus around me. Escaping to the Atlanta campus only deepened that sense of isolation I had created for myself, making me feel as if I was not tethered to either place.
To avoid this feeling, I would bury myself in my classes. Since I was graduating early, I had to take a lot of classes in order to reach Oxford’s requisite 65 credits in three semesters. Completing extra coursework and participating in as many extracurriculars as possible gave me the excuse I needed to feed the denial that Oxford was just a temporary step, not a permanent residence. I avoided reaching out to people, trying new events and engaging with the very community I unfairly claimed was boring or empty. I told myself my social life was lacking, but I never showed up to go out. I said there was nothing to do on campus, but I never attended the things that were actually happening. All of this culminated into a single fact — by the end of the first year, I felt alone and did not want to return to college.
I convinced myself that I didn’t belong at Oxford. I didn’t want to transfer because I felt like I had invested too much effort in leadership roles and different responsibilities to give it all up and start from scratch at a new college. However, I also was not happy, and I do not want to discredit those feelings. In retrospect, though, I realize how flawed I was to think and act this way because it was not Oxford’s fault but my own.
This semester, however, my mindset shifted. Slowly, without even realizing it, I have rectified all the mistakes I made my freshman year. I have found myself enjoying campus events like a student-run Asian Night Market and Music for Change OxFest, participating in spontaneous dorm room conversations and having genuinely interesting conversations with classmates instead of rushing out of class. I went to popular events on campus instead of walking straight past them and, for the first time since arriving, I really felt happy to be at Oxford and experience what it is like to enjoy college. Now that I’m about to leave, I cannot help but feel regret for taking so long to immerse myself in a place that I had written off before I even came.
This isn’t to say my freshman year was awful — despite what I have said about my experience, there were still times of excitement and connections, and there were people and experiences that made that year meaningful. Further, this semester also has not been some sort of perfect turnaround — I have still experienced all of the stress and pressure that accompanies college life. But I have stopped fixating on everything Oxford supposedly lacks and comparing it to a campus 40 minutes away. Oxford has its flaws — its Advanced Placement credit rules are frustrating, class selections feel limited and students drag its reputation through the mud more often than it deserves. I’m not pretending these flaws don’t exist, but I wish I had given this place a fair chance earlier. I wish I had shown up more, talked to people more and stayed on campus instead of running from it. And I wish that the current and incoming Oxford freshmen view the campus for what it really is: a unique experience that they should cherish and engage with. Oxford is not missing anything — that’s a hard realization for me to sit with, especially now that I’m leaving.
Even though I do regret how I spent my time here, I’m also genuinely excited for the opportunities waiting on the Atlanta campus. I’m ready for bigger classes, new clubs, research opportunities and birria tacos from Twisted Taco. As I leave Oxford, I’m going with a pivotal lesson learned from my experience at a place where I wish I had had more time.
Contact Cayden Xia at cayden.xia@emory.edu
Cayden Xia (he/him) (26Ox) is from Wellesley, MA, and is majoring in chemistry with a minor in religion. Apart from the Wheel, he designs tests for Emory and Georgia Tech Science Olympiad. Outside of school, Xia likes to watch Tottenham Hotspur (COYS,) speed solving the Rubik's Cube, or binging a TV Show.
