Learn how DatingPsychos helps you spot red flags in profiles and chats, avoid toxic partners in online dating, and date with more confidence and safety.
If you use dating apps or websites, you already know they can feel like the wild west. One minute, you match with someone funny and sweet. The next minute, you realize they lied about their age, their job, or even their relationship status. As a marriage and family therapist who has worked with couples and singles for decades, I have seen how much damage one toxic match can do.
Online dating is not all doom and gloom. Many couples meet that way and build strong relationships. At the same time, studies show real risks. One worldwide report from Kaspersky found that about 55% of people who date online faced some kind of threat or problem from it. That could mean fake profiles, harassment, financial loss, or scary in-person meetings. Another study reported that around 42% of users had been catfished, and about one third of them suffered some form of harm, such as verbal or sexual abuse. Those numbers are huge.
So, how exactly are you supposed to protect your heart, your time, and your safety while still giving love a real chance? One tool I like for this is DatingPsychos.
In this article, I will walk you through what toxic looks like online, how DatingPsychos can help you avoid some of the worst matches, and what I recommend as a therapist if you want safer and saner dating experiences.
What “toxic” looks like in online dating
“Toxic” is a big word, so let’s keep it simple. A toxic match is someone who harms you emotionally, mentally, or physically. They may not show it on the first date. That is part of the problem. Here are some common signs I see in my office.
1. Fast and furious attention
They move fast. They message all day and all night. They talk about soulmates after two days. It feels flattering at first, but you also feel a bit dizzy and off balance. This pattern often shows up with people who love bomb then later pull away, criticize, or cheat. That first phase is not real love. It is a control covered with charm.
Therapist tip: If someone races ahead, you slow down. Say “I like this and I also want to go at a steady pace.”
2. Stories that do not add up
Toxic matches lie. Sometimes they lie about small stuff. Sometimes they lie about marriage, kids, money, or age. Many people learn the hard way that the person they trusted already has a partner or a whole family somewhere else.
You do not have to catch every lie. But when someone’s stories never make sense or you keep feeling that little knot in your stomach please listen to that feeling.
3. Pressure and guilt
Some people use pressure instead of respect. They push you for photos you do not want to send. They try to move to private apps right away. They act hurt or angry when you say no. They may even blame you for their moods.
You deserve someone who respects your pace and your boundaries. It is that simple.
4. Cruel jokes and “teasing”
Pay close attention to how your match talks to you once they feel a bit comfortable. Do they mock your body, your job, your family, your past relationships? Do they hide hurtful comments inside “jokes” then call you too sensitive when you react?
That is not humor. That is emotional abuse with a smile.
5. Online harassment and threats
Sadly, online abuse is not rare at all. Many studies show high rates of stalking, harassment, and other harm linked to online dating and digital communication. If someone floods you with messages, tracks you through social media, or threatens to post private photos, you are not overreacting. You are facing abuse.
Where DatingPsychos comes in
Now let’s talk about how DatingPsychos can help you steer clear of some of these toxic patterns before they hit your life.
DatingPsychos is a community website where people report cheaters, abusers, and partners who lied to them. The aim is simple. To warn others so they do not fall for the same person and the same tricks. The site lets visitors browse reports, read real stories from other daters, and check if someone they are talking to has a history of harmful behavior.
Is it perfect? No. No website is. But it can be one piece of your safety toolkit. Here is how I suggest using it.
1. Use it as a background check, not as your only filter
If you have a first name, a photo, or a username, you can search DatingPsychos to see if anything pops up. Do this before you invest months of time and emotion. You might see multiple reports about the same person with similar stories of cheating, ghosting, or abuse. That pattern matters.
At the same time, no record on the site does not equal a clean bill of health. Some toxic people never show up there. So use it as one extra data point, not the full picture.
2. Look for patterns, not one random post
We are humans, and humans make mistakes. A single angry post from many years ago may not tell you much on its own. Several reports across time that describe the same kind of lies, violence, or emotional cruelty tell a very different story.
When you read posts, pay more attention to patterns than to dramatic language.
3. Listen to what their exes say about safety
Many reports on Dating Psychos talk about safety issues. Maybe the person refused to use protection. Maybe they tried to control where the other person went and who they saw. Maybe they stalked or harassed them after a breakup.
Those stories are gold for your safety radar. If someone has scared more than one past partner, you do not need to test that for yourself.
4. Respect your own sense of “off”
Even with a tool like DatingPsychos, your own gut feeling is still your number one safety system. If you read a report that sounds exactly like your current situation, take that seriously. If you keep feeling that something is off even when you cannot prove it slow down instead of pushing yourself to be “chill.”
A safer online dating checklist from a therapist
Tools like DatingPsychos help a lot. Still, you also need daily habits that keep you safer both online and offline. Here is a simple checklist you can use before you get serious with someone from an app or site.
- Slow the pace. Romance that moves like a runaway train usually ends with a crash. Take weeks, not hours, before you share very private details or meet alone at someone’s home.
- Verify basic facts. You do not need to act like a private detective, but you can do simple checks.
- Search their name plus city.
- See if their photos appear elsewhere under a different name.
- Notice if their social media life matches their dating profile or if everything feels oddly blank.
- If you see big gaps, ask calm, direct questions.
- Guard your personal data. Do not send ID photos, bank details, or explicit pictures to someone you just met online. Real partners respect your caution. Scammers and abusers push for fast trust.
- Meet in public first and tell a friend. For at least the first few dates, meet in public spots. Tell a friend where you will be. Share your date’s first name and phone number.
- Watch how they handle “no”. Say “no” to something small and see what happens. Maybe you refuse a drink, or you say you want to go home by ten. If they pout, pressure, blame, or mock you, that is a red flag. If they respect your boundary with calm and kindness, that is a good sign.
Why tools like DatingPsychos matter so much now
Online dating is not going away. Apps and sites are part of modern love. They help people with busy lives or small social circles meet partners they never would have met otherwise.
At the same time, research keeps pointing out that online dating can bring serious risks. Many users report catfishing and stalking and financial scams and even physical assault linked to dates that started on apps or websites. When large numbers of users say they have faced some form of harm we need more than blind hope.
That is where tools like DatingPsychos come in. They give regular people a way to share their stories and warn others. They help you see patterns you would never see on a polished profile.
As a therapist, I never want fear to run your love life. I also never want you to ignore real danger. You deserve both romance and safety. You deserve both butterflies and peace of mind. So keep your heart open. Use your head. Talk with trusted friends. Use tools like DatingPsychos. Most of all, trust yourself.
Love should not feel like a constant emergency. With the right information and support, you can raise your standards, spot toxic matches sooner, and make space for the kind of love that feels safe enough to last.
About the author
Peggy Bolcoa, LMFT, PhD is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Costa Mesa, California. For more than twenty years, she has worked with individuals, couples, and families on trust, betrayal, anxiety, and real day-to-day relationship struggles. She uses Emotionally Focused Therapy and a warm, straightforward style so people feel safe and understood in her office. Along with her private practice, she writes clear, practical articles on dating, marriage, and cross-cultural relationships for readers all over the world. Peggy cares deeply about helping people build love that feels kind, steady, and safe.
