On Fire 9-11-2012
1. Gambling in the NFL
Here at On Fire, we believe in three things: calling your mom every night just to tell her you love her, never buying generic cracker brands and accepting every bet proposed to you, the stupider the better.
Your well-informed On Fire correspondent has long known that Aaron Rodgers is a leading advocate of those first two propositions. And we have just received conclusive evidence that he practices the third as well.
Rodgers is a California boy, a childhood fan of the 49ers who played his college ball at Berkeley. When he entered the draft in 2005, the 49ers had the number one overall pick. It seemed like a match made in heaven.
However, the 49ers picked Alex Smith, Rodgers fell to 24th before being snagged by the Packers and the rest, as your clichéd On Fire correspondent likes to say, is history.
In light of all this, when Rodgers contacted Boyz II Men (your hip On Fire correspondent does not actually know who or what Boyz II Men is, but he (or she) feels safe in assuming they are some kind of post-modern electronic group) about performing the national anthem before last week’s Packers-49ers game, Nathan Morris of the group (again, your folk-rock loving On Fire correspondent has no idea who this is, but assumes he has tattoos and dreadlocks) responded with a bet.
If the Packers won, Morris would wear their jersey for the next week. But if they lost, Rodgers was to wear a 49ers jersey.
The kind of man who wins an NFL MVP is the kind of man who never backs down from a challenge. Rodgers accepted the bet instantly.
The Packers lost. Rodgers completed ten more passes than Smith for 97 more yards, but as your gambling-addicted On Fire correspondent knows all too well, sometimes the cards just are not in your favor.
Now Rodgers is stuck wearing a 49ers jersey for a week. And let us not forget that he is no private citizen, or even a normal celebrity.
Rodgers will be wearing this jersey everywhere this week. On the Packer’s practice field, in the Packer’s film room and in the Packer’s locker room, he will be in a 49ers jersey.
From all of us at On Fire, Aaron Rodgers, for what we would call courage and most others would call a childish bet, we salute you.
2. Women in the NFL
For the first time ever, a female referee was part of an NFL officiating crew this weekend.
Observers noted that Shannon Eastin used her left hand to tuck her ponytail under her hat after the national anthem, a questionable choice of both hand and timing, but other than that incident, nothing of note happened.
To be completely honest, we at On Fire are severely disappointed.
It was not quite like Rush Limbaugh feelings about Obama — his exact words, your talk radio-loving On Fire correspondent seems to recall, were “I hope he fails” — but, to once again be completely honest, it more similar to Mr. Limbaugh’s sentiment that it was different.
That was going to be the story this week. Your optimistic On Fire correspondent saw the headlines in his (or her) head:
“Female Ref Stops Game to Ask What a Touchdown Is;” “Female Ref Breaks Down Crying Because She Wants Both Teams to Win, Requires Hug to be Consoled;” “Female Ref Told by Male Refs, Husband to Leave the Field and Make Sandwiches.”
But nothing happened. No one is saying she did a great job. Or if they are, your open-minded On Fire correspondent is not listening to them.
But, as many times as he (or she) has gone through the game film, she appears to have made no mistakes that we can use this space to call her out for.
So there goes our story for the week.
3. Just Google This
If you do nothing else that we tell you all year, please do this. Trust us, this is a must.
Go to your computer. Open up your browser of choice, preferable Internet Explorer (your On Fire correspondent who is probably voting for Romney hates change).
Next, go to YouTube. Search “Razorbacks United We Stand.” Click the first result. Watch the video.
If you follow these steps, you will see musical genius before your very eyes. It cannot be adequately explained in words.
Just do it. Now.