On Fire 4/19/13

1. True Love

Your On Fire correspondent is in love. Her name last name is Thatcher. No, your On Fire correspondent isn’t referring to the late Dame Margaret Thatcher, whose funeral was this week. The emotion he (or she) feels toward her is a combination of respect, fear and reverence.

Seriously, Thatcherism was conservatism with both courage and empathy. And none of us here at On Fire would have liked to either sit across from Dame Thatcher in a negotiating session or to meet her late at night in a dark alley.

But your correspondent is digressing. Amanda Thatcher is the one he (or she) is in love with. One of only two readers at Dame Thatcher’s funeral (the other was current Prime Minister David Cameron), Ms. Thatcher delivered what extramustard.si.com has described as a “flawless reading” from the book of Ephesians. Your On Fire correspondent has watched the YouTube video of her reading and can confirm the accuracy of Extra Mustard’s report. Her pronunciation was flawless, her gaze was firm and her accent was a striking combination of Texan and South African.

But what’s truly incredible about this young woman is that she is an athlete too. She runs track for the University of Richmond and, as a senior in high school, won the district title in the 300-meter hurdles.

To recap: she competes in a mid-level sport at a low-level Division I university and won the lowest level of individual title in a very specialized event in high school. To reiterate: your On Fire correspondent is in love.

Oh, and she’s also really hot.

Reading ability, athletic ability and looks — Amanda Thatcher has the big three. We at On Fire are impressed.

2. Racism and CVS

This isn’t exactly related to sports, but we at On Fire believe it is our mission to call out stupid stuff anywhere that it happens, and something should not be excused just because we cannot find a tangential relationship between it and sports.

A woman of Korean descent named Hyun Lee recently went shopping at a CVS. When she was handed her receipt, she noticed that she was identified on the receipt as “Ching Chong Lee.” CVS released a statement indicating that the company has a firm non-discrimination policy. That is a huge relief to all of us at On Fire, who are all very grateful for this clarification and will feel better the next time we are running low on toilet paper and have to run down to the Village.

Lee fired a lawsuit against CVS, demanding that the employee be fired and that she receive $1 million in damages. Really, Ms. Lee? People make jokes that are bad. People are insensitive. People believe in stereotypes. Some people are straight up racist. CVS offered to give counseling to the employee, but according to a statement written by Ms. Lee’s attorney, “counseling cannot correct intolerable discrimination.” Ms. Lee, please relax. The employee should not have called you Ching Chong Lee, but who are you to demand that they should be fired? And have you really suffered $1 million worth?

Now back to funny stuff about sports.

3. Cool Basketball Plays

The NBA recently released its list of the top plays and slam dunks of the year, and the same play topped both lists. Near the end of the second quarter in a Clippers-Pistons game last month, Chris Paul took the ball town the court, made a quick move to his right and lobbed the ball up near the hoop.

Waiting for the ball was DeAndre Jordan. He caught the ball well above the head of Pistons guard Brandon Knight, and, in the words of Yahoo!, “absolutely dentonated.”

He put the slam in slam dunk. He threw down, and he threw down hard. It was really impossible to describe — it was like a hurricane, an earthquake and a tornado all ripped through Brandon Knight at the same time, and he crumpled to the ground and Jordan drove the ball home. And the best part is that Knight was called for a foul on the play.

Some concerned fan updated Knight’s Wikipedia page after the play. It read: “On March 10, 2013 Knight died in a game vs. the Los Angeles Clippers. The cause of death was determined to be DeAndre Jordan.”

The Clippers went on to win by 32 points.

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