Here’s a hypothetical situation for you: You’re left alone in a near-empty room, with only a television set, a couch and a remote control. Desperate for a way to pass the time, you quickly begin channel surfing — only to discover, to your horror, that the only options available are the three major 24-hour news networks.

Presented with such a hellish dystopia, I don’t think it’s too big a stretch that the average person would opt to make the same choice that most viewers of cable news already make on a daily basis: They would watch FOX News.

There’s a reason why FOX continually wins the ratings wars, and it’s one that says very little about our nation’s political polarization or ideological makeup. Very simply, the product FOX News puts out there is, overwhelmingly, the most entertaining. In the earlier half of this decade, FOX News won the ratings wars by being the first major news outlet to treat the news like it was a game, with state-of-the-art graphics and all the bells and whistles one could ever crave. Now that CNN and its magic screens have made FOX News’ design team look like it’s working with clip-art, FOX went even more primal in its efforts to appeal to the news-viewing public: they sent out the clowns.

Why watch the predictable, dour-faced low-lights MSNBC and CNN throw out at 5 p.m. when one could turn to FOX and watch Glenn Beck flirt, literally, with public immolation? The same goes for almost every other time slot. As Jon Stewart points out on the “Daily Show” Monday through Thursday, the main problem with 24-hour news networks is simply that there is rarely, if ever, 24 hours’ worth of news to cover.

If one chooses to forego the news entirely and watch nothing but an endless loop of “SportsCenter,” chances are that they’re not missing much, and can even remain reasonably well-informed, assuming that they have Internet access. So isn’t it natural that those who genuinely enjoy the news as an ongoing narrative of our times would opt in large numbers for the outlet that has the most going on? (And, indeed, is even willing to create news — such as the Tea Parties — when things are getting dull.)

The current conversation about FOX News’ place in the national discourse misses the point. Of course the White House is correct; there’s no actual reason why FOX News should be treated as if they’re a good-faith purveyor of information when they abandoned those pretensions so spectacularly years ago. Agree with the tilt of MSNBC hosts or not, at least they make an effort; Rachel Maddow, unlike her 9 p.m. counterpart Sean Hannity, actually intersperses her screeds with in-depth conversations about world affairs, such as a conversation with non-partisan military experts about the progress of the Afghan War.

The outrage leveled at FOX — and to a lesser extent at the administration for attempting to treat FOX like they don’t matter — stems from a belief, widely prevalent in the present zeitgeist, that news is a form of corporate philanthropy. It’s generally understood in our culture that, while news organizations should and will attempt to make a profit, they do so while maintaining a firm commitment to objectivity, the truth and the best interests of the American public.

Well, that’s one way to do it. Britain’s The Sun bases much of its reputation as a news tabloid on the fact that it includes full-frontal nudity (“Page Three girls”) in the paper. New York Daily News owner Mort Zuckerman has suggested that Congress permit American newspapers to allow sports betting on their websites, which would allow them to make a profit while not impacting their commitment to objectivity and hard news, but would presumably have an adverse impact on the interests of the public at large.

The point is, there’s a lot of ways to skin the news cat. The most recent trend of allowing left and right equal time and opportunity to have at it, largely without mediation or explication, is just what seemed to make sense at the moment. There once was a time, not very long ago, when newspapers — even the revered Old Gray Lady — were perceived as little more than party organs for either the Republicans or Democrats. That didn’t seem to short-change the American public, either; I’d venture to guess that the populace as a whole was no more or less paranoid or obsessed with irrelevancies then than now.

This isn’t to say liberals and Democrats are wrong for railing against FOX. It’s tremendous fun — and, perhaps more importantly, it’s easy. But some perspective would be helpful; if you really want to bring down FOX, the way to do that is to prove to its corporate officeholders that their present modus operandi is a poor business model.

To this end, boycotts of advertisers, such as the one aimed at Beck since this summer, are fair game. But don’t be surprised if, instead of bringing FOX back to the light, everyone else doesn’t simply become more like FOX. Because until that business model does fail, it’s really the only winning game in town. Although I would agree readily with those same critics of FOX News that this is a tremendous shame. Personally, I’m rooting for Page Three girls to make their debut on this side of the pond, or legal sports betting. Or, better yet, perhaps some sort of glorious amalgamation of the two. Hey, a guy can hope, can’t he?

Editorials Editor Asher Smith is a College junior from Great Neck, N.Y.